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Mr. Porn Geek. Can you help me get laid on any of these best escort sites you’ve reviewed?

Not the first time I have been asked this. People look at Mr. Porn Geek and think; “man, you are fit as fuck, bet you are getting laid more often than Brad Pitt”. Mr. Porn Geek casually lies and says “yep. I am”. Your boy here gets plenty of action, but it hasn’t always been like this! While these best escort sites not entirely porn related, your boy Mr. Porn Geek has had a bit of a track record with escorts before he got into a serious relationship.

My experience with finding escorts online and contacting the hottest girls in my city has obviously prepared me to give you information on the best sources for that type of thing. Naturally, seeing as Mr. Porn Geek likes to have all of his readers access whatever they want from my really awesome best porn site list, I’ve gone ahead and provided reviews of the best escort sites that I consider worthy of going if you’re looking for escorts.

Believe me, there are so many places out there that are going to show you fake pictures, charge more than expected or simply waste your time – that’s why it’s so important to pick the right escort site that has a top system to ensure you find companions that know what they’re doing and aren’t going to mess around. I’ve honestly checked out about 20 sites so far, and what you see below – that’s all I really consider worthy of your attention right now. That might change in future, but for now, I want to keep this area where I review the best escort websites as clean as possible.

But Mr. Porn Geek, why should I listen to your advice on escorts?

Mr. Porn Geek knowns his escorts. When your boy here was going through a bit of a dry patch at one point in his life, he used plenty of them to ‘get his end away’. Mr. Porn Geek would have much rather spent time in the local boozer, but you mad lads needed porn reviews written, so sacrifices needed to be made on the sex front.

Mr. Porn Geek knows how to separate those hot eastern European escorts from those ones which probably have all manner of diseases to infect you with. All of these can be found online, with nothing more than a computer at your disposal (or your phone, if you really are way too lazy to boot up your computer, but MPG can see why you aren’t getting laid if you are too lazy to do that). You just need to go to the right sites, and Mr. Porn Geek knows the right sites.

These reviews will completely ignore those sites which have fake photos listed. Trust your boy, as hot as Jennifer Aniston is and as poorly as her movies have sold recently; she is probably not an escort. No idea why sites keep using her pic. These are just sites packed to the brim with actual people who are willing to give you a quick fuck…for a price.

Look at you banging all those escorts :D!

Now you know that Mr. Porn Geek is not as successful in bed as everybody likes to think, you can jump into some of the best escort websites around right now. Have a bit of a watch of some porn or whatever it is you do. Think of heading to one of these escort websites as ‘training’ for you. When you do finally hook up with a woman, you will be glad that you paid for sex. You are going to have a ton of experience under her belt, not only from checking out the premium porn websites on Mr. Porn Geek but by shagging somebody that also has experience. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Have you been looking for an escort website that actually gives you a decent interface, the ability to see what you’re getting and access a number of local escorts all in the same location? Well, lucky for you, those are the criteria required here at Mr. Porn Geek for me to even consider a site in this niche being given a place on my list of the best escort sites.

I’ve worked hard to locate decent destinations and while it’s tough, I hope you can see that the options I’ve provided really are the best of the best. Take your time, read the reviews, see my pros and cons, check out the screenshot and if you think that the escort platform I’ve provided is decent, continue on and check out what they’ve got to offer. I’d like to once again thank all of my escort loving viewers here and wish you the best of luck finding your next lady of the night – just remember, be safe and remember to leave a tip if she does a good job!

Should I risk sex with a cheap prostitute?

That’s a tough question, but a good one too. I’m of the opinion that you should be safe when it comes to having sex with hookers – they can carry some nasty things and if you’re not careful, you might be on the receiving end of some very unattractive medical issues. Note that just because you’re going to brothels doesn’t change much – you’re just as likely to find a rough skank in a cheap place like that as you would from a backpage call girl. Not all cheap prostitutes should be avoided, but you want to make sure that you’re wrapping it up. Please, for the love of god – never bareback a female lady of the night.

You might like it in the moment, but you’ll feel like a total whore when you wake up and realize your mistake. I’d recommend paying a premium for a good VIP escort – someone that’s not messing around with low-quality men. That way, you’re less likely to be on the receiving end of an STD. You can obviously pick if you do this through various escort services or go down the private hooker hire route: it’s up to you, but the more you pay the better the experience is going to be! Mr. Porn Geek also recommends considering the form of prostitution that is entirely free – meeting up with a sexy chick in your region that can be charmed into having sex with you. With a decent haircut, a shower and some confidence you’d be amazed at how quickly girls near you in the club can become high class hookers without the price tag. They’ll fuck you damn well – and you won’t have to pay for the privilege.

What hookers are the best to hire?

This ultimately comes down to taste – I really like all types of women, so it’s hard for me to focus on just one approach to having sex with a nearby companion. Mr. Porn Geek has shared time with tantric and erotic young hookers alongside black shemales – I love trying new things and honestly, my best experience ever was with a real high class hooker that provided me with the ultimate mature escort fuck. You’re an adult; so honestly, you should be making up your own damn mind when it comes to finding a hot Asian street walker or ebony hooker. I know I spoke earlier about only picking out the best of the best when it comes to paying for sex, but I’ll be honest and say that I’ve had plenty of street hookers over the years. A lot of the time it was because I struggled with where to find escorts, but nowadays after building this place, I’ve got plenty of sources for world-class ass at a moment’s notice. It’s not expensive either – at least when compared to my black ex-girlfriend.

How can I be sure that the escort I’m talking to is real?

Tricky question – you’ve got to be confident that if you’re looking at a classified ad of a nearby companion that she’s going to be up to the task. There are lots of scams out there, but I think the best thing you can do after having her verify you is to simply ask for a picture of her holding up one finger and smiling – this takes less than 10 seconds to do and will give you the confidence you need to make an informed decision as to whether or not the prostitute you’re looking to hire is the real deal. Also, make sure that you don’t send any money until you’re actually there and getting down to business: escorts want to work in pure cash and nothing else, so it should send alarm bells ringing if they’re asking for you to send them iPhone gift vouchers before you even meet (yes, I know someone who did this … for $500 … poor guy).

Alternatively, you can go down the route of picking up a street hooker. You can pretty much guarantee that if a girl is walking up and down a road late at night wearing next to nothing in an area known for its debauchery, that she’s probably selling something that you’re going to be interested in. Mr. Porn Geek sees value in private hookers that you find roaming around – it’s like going into a store to buy a product you want instead of having to order it online. Pictures can be deceptive, but if you’ve got a delicious high-class hooker in front of you and she’s exchanging cash for ass, you’re not going to get scammed as much as you might do via so-called VIP escorts who have their services offered via a classified advert.

Do you have any tips on how to fuck a hooker?

She’s there to make you happy, so focus on your own pleasure above all else. Men don’t seem to realize that when you’re paying cash in hand for a service, you’re the one that gets to call the shots. Her job is to make you bust a nut, so tell her what you want (politely, of course) and then get on with the gig. Some escorts might get off to being given great sex, but these women are typically in the game because they want money and actually don’t mind working hard to make a guy happy. I’ve spoken to many escorts after sex over the years to work out what they enjoy and honestly: from every young hooker and mature escort, I’ve been told that they’re quite submissive and like to make men cum. Women were put on this planet to have men shoot fat nuts inside of their pussies, so don’t be surprised that they value themselves deeply on their ability to get guys horny.

Other than that, I do recommend that you just prepare yourself. Shave your dick the day before and get the hair off your balls – no one likes that. Also, take a damn shower and triple-check that there’s nothing nasty going on anywhere. I actually haven’t had sex with a hooker in many years, but I still maintain a stellar routine of keeping myself fresh and delicious so that my girlfriend doesn’t become repulsed whenever I open my legs. Clean, tidy, polite and friendly – the four things all escort service providers want from you.

Is there going to be a nearby companion for me?

Most likely, yeah – unless you live in the Australian outback region, there are women out there that sell themselves for erotic sex no matter where you are in the world. I’ve looked over lots of these sites and seen hookers in Phoenix, Las Vegas, South jersey, Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York, Florida, and Texas. Hell, you don’t even have to be in the United States – lots of European places including England have coverage. You’d be surprised when you look into it just how many ladies there are in the world who want to provide that niche escort service you’re after. So what are you waiting for? Read the reviews and find the next ebony hooker or mature escort near you!

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