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MrPornGeek checks out MPReviews

MPReviews is the place to go if you want a massage ( I presume a naughty massage with a happy ending otherwise I have no fucking clue why this site came across my desk), but you want to read some reviews about the massage parlor first. MPReviews has over 100,000 massage parlors listed on it, and so you can find the best massage parlor in your area right here. Or can you? Is MPReviews any good at all? Well, we better review this fucker and find out, hadn’t we dear reader?

Being a guest on MPReviews

Right, I am a guest on MPReviews, I haven’t made an account on this massage parlor site as I am not in America and MPReviews seemingly only serves America. So as a guest on this massage site I can see fuck all! All I can see is info about MPReviews and what it does. They are calling for more members to review massage parlors and really trying to get people to sign up for VIP access to this massage parlor review site. However, I cannot see any reviews, photos or anything that may help me choose a massage parlor for my next happy ending.

Becoming a member of MPReviews

You can become a free member of MPReviews. I believe this gives you the right to review massage parlors and stuff, but you are still restricted to what you can do on MPReviews. For complete access to MPReviews, you need a VIP membership. VIP memberships to MPReviews cost $18.95 a month! That is a shocking amount of money! How much are you spending on massages a month that nearly $20 for a membership to a massage parlor review site seems like a good deal? How on earth can MPReviews charge that much for a membership? That is probably why hardly any of the 100,000 massage parlors on their site has a review! Oh, that and the whole design and style of MPReviews sucks the biggest dick ever!

MrPornGeek’s final thoughts on MPReviews

I honestly thought that MPReviews was fucking useless from the start. I mean, it seems that any massage parlor can feature on this site as it doesn’t actually say these are happy ending massage parlors although it is implied. So, why would we pay MPReviews for information that we can get for free elsewhere? There are tons of sites like MPReviews that do not charge for these services. Instead, they charge massage parlous a bit of money to advertise on their site! Why the fuck should we pay MPReviews nearly $20 a month to join a site that isn’t that helpful because no one else has joined the site? Most of the massage parlors on this site are baron in terms of reviews. I think that MPReviews is a shocking pile of shit that no fucker should use!

Review Pros
  • Real reviews
  • Real community
  • 100k+ massage parlors listed
Review Cons
  • Way too expensive
  • Have to be a member