Pocket Waifu Review

Pocket Waifu


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I’ve heard in the past about pocket pussies, but a Pocket Waifu is a completely new concept to me. I know what you’re thinking: with a name like that it must just be a masturbation device that’s ultra-tight to simulate good Japanese snatch, but the reality is that Pocket Waifu offers a gaming experience for people both on mobile devices and desktops. Released by the legendary game company known as Nutaku, this casual dating simulator is completely free to play and claims to have over 50 animated sex scenes and daily rewards for completing various challenges and missions. I’m really excited to get on in to see whether or not Pocket Waifu is decent: continue reading and I’ll go over what’s hot and what’s not when it comes to this tempting dating simulator.

Starting Pocket Waifu

So the first thing that will happen when you load up this game is a small tutorial directed by a sexy, busty redhead called Andrea Brizana. She’s got pierced titties and bat wings – weird combination, but I think if you’re the kind of person to enjoy dating simulators, this isn’t going to be that much of a big deal for you. Note that you can skip this porn game tutorial if you want, but you won’t get any rewards – I highly recommend completing it because it makes your experience later on in the dating simulator that much easier.

Your first decision is going to be whether or not you want to trade your soul with Andrea in order to learn some tricks when it comes to fucking – I don’t believe in the concept of a soul, so you can bet your bottom dollar I traded away this non-existent entity for some anime chick to put a smile on my face. Soon enough a blonde broad by the name of Mary Green enters the scene and needs to head on into the bathroom to get cleaned up.

Gameplay mechanics

You’ve got some shower gel that you can give to Mary, which providers her with 30 ‘bathroom’ points but -15 energy. Like many dating sims, the idea here is to balance out all of the various factors to make sure that the girl you want to fuck is in pristine condition for the bang. After soaping up her nice big titties, she thanks you for the assistance and then ventures into the bathroom with you to grab a bite to eat. Because she wants to keep that frame looking tip top, Mary goes ahead and enjoys a real tasty salad – this recovers 50 points of hunger: girl must be a vegan or some shit since she finishes eating in a split second.

The tutorial progresses and soon enough, Mary catches on that all you really want is sex. No shit, woman! Billions of years of evolution have made it such that my brain is focused on nothing but reproduction. I’m so sorry that I’m literally programmed to want to fuck girls as hard and as fast as possible. The good news is that she doesn’t seem all that concerned and soon pulls down that tight sweater to reveal those big round anime titties. I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty much my idea of perfection – she has a cracking rack and I’m sure half of you reading this will be squeezing your hog as she twists her nipples for your exclusive viewing pleasure.

Mini games in Pocket Waifu

I think it’s fair to suggest that a big part of the experience here at Pocket Waifu is based around the mini-games that they have on offer. Many dating sims don’t really have a skill aspect, but this one certainly does. As you can see from the screenshot, you get to pick from an initial batch of 9 games that all have their pros and cons. I thought that High Roller sounded pretty good so I picked that one first – I think I made the right decision. You have to fire this chick around spinning wheels and the higher you go, the better the rewards are.

When you’ve done the tutorial, Andrea will gift you with a free 72-hour premium trial, which is exactly why I recommend not skipping it in the first place. Quite the deal and well, let’s just say that the perks that come as a result of this premium feature are well worth spending 5 minutes learning about Pocket Waifu!

The freemium features

Note that while Pocket Waifu is 100% free to play, you can shell out a few bucks here and there to unlock extra features and the like. I’m a big fan of this type of model because if you’re willing to take it slow you can, but if you want to complete the game as quickly as possible it’s easy to part ways with a little money in order to get exactly that. You’ll have 7 days from your first play-through to take full advantage of an introductory offer – it’s well worth it for the 1,000 gold coins, but Mr. Porn Geek also thinks that playing without spending money is more than doable.

More mini game fun

I decided to go straight back toward playing mini-games after Andrea left – I felt like Sky Jump was probably my favorite. It’s basically Frogger, but much more updated. I also enjoyed Line Breaker, although it was a lot tougher than the other options. I honestly think that out of all the porn games I’ve played, this one requires the most amount of skill. A lot of the games here are reaction-time focused and played with just a click of your mouse: that means one-handed experiences are more than possible. Yeah, you’re going to be jerking off a lot, especially as Mary levels up and you unlock more hot chicks like Cleo and Yasu.

Honestly, I’m pretty impressed at just how many girls are available on Pocket Waifu for you to engage with. Really lets you know that the developers take this thing seriously and aren’t in the business of messing around with releasing a less than polished product. If you like in-depth porn games, look no further than right here. Nutaku are always one step ahead of the competition – no one can deny that they’re the cream of the crop in that regard!

The downsides of Pocket Waifu

Look, I’m a big believer in giving people realistic looks at websites: I want you to be able to trust Mr. Porn Geek and the reviews that he publishes. With regard to Pocket Waifu, I can only think of a few things that need to be changed, but they’re pretty important. Firstly, the game starts off really loud – the music is quite annoying and takes away from the experience. This is easily changed in the settings, but I had trouble finding them! It’s the cog wheel in the top-left corner. I’d also like to see more settings here too, like text speed, resolution and so on.

Aside from that, the directions for the tutorial aren’t the clearest, since the game uses a circle of love hearts in white to dictate where you ought to go in order to progress through the help sections. What’s the problem with arrows, guys? Everyone knows what arrows mean! They’re a universal sign of “hey, look at this and pay attention to what I’m putting in front of your face”

There’s some good here too

On the whole, Pocket Waifu is actually a pretty fun game. I loved the fact that there are lots of choices here and that you can play for free without much trouble whatsoever. The artwork is enjoyable and while I’d like for the sex to begin a little earlier than it does, I don’t think many people would play a dating sim for too long if there wasn’t a little bit of a challenge. The time gates can get quite long after you’ve played for a few days, but I think if you’re spending hours upon hours enjoying porn games, maybe it’s a good thing that you’re forced to take a break.

I think Pocket Waifu is really quite polished and not many people could complain about the experience here. You get to see some big titties and have a little bit of a skill-based gaming for when you’re feeling like pushing your brain to the limit.

I also want to mention the fact that Pocket Waifu updates its dating sim on a regular basis – they just released a Christmas sex scene between Mary and Eva and I think the fact they’re stilling pushing fresh content for a free adult game is just insane. All in all, this is probably one of my favorite dating titles out there right now.

Final thoughts

If you’re sick to death of boring games that have no depth and require no level of intelligence or thinking, try out Nutaku’s prime dating simulator today. Pocket Waifu exceeded my expectations and I’m probably going to play for an hour or two once I put this review back online. I think you’ll love it and if you don’t, check out my other reviews of the best porn game websites out there on the Internet right now. Also, poke around Nutaku, since they have dozens of high quality porn titles that you might enjoy.

Review Pros
  • Active community
  • Great dating sim
  • Easy to play
Review Cons
  • Lengthy tutorial
  • Loud music