CosmicShockLeague Review


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Audio Review

Howdy folks – Mr. Porn Geek back at it again and today, I’m going to be writing up a full, feature-length review on a game called Cosmic Shock League. Produced by the Nutaku studio, this is an action adventure, puzzle and strategy game all mixed into one glorious bundle. The preview artwork looks really damn good and if my previous reviews of Nutaku games are anything to go by; this is going to be another great title that I can throw my recommendation behind. Anyhow, let’s load up Cosmic Shock League and see whether this game cuts the mustard. I hope you’re as excited as I am – I can’t wait!

Initial impressions of Nutaku

The very first thing I noticed about Cosmic Shock League is that it’s built on the Unity engine – thousands of world-class games use this as their basis for material and honestly, it’s one of the best development tools out there right now if you want to make a game. I actually had some FPS issues within Chrome, so I fired up Opera and that seemed to do the trick. Cosmic Shock League is a browser game, but they’ve also got it available on mobile too if you’d prefer to get your games on the go. I also noticed that you can download an actual client for Windows and Mac OS – it’s only 100 MB and runs smooth as silk.

The gameplay

Gameplay here kicks off with a little introduction from a blue-haired anime chick that tells you all about Cosmic Shock League and what you’ve got to do in order to win. The basic premise is to make your opponent’s health drop all the way to 0: if you do that, you win the game! You take out your opponent’s health by stacking tiles and using abilities from your collection of loyal hentai chicks that want to see you succeed. It’s actually quite hard to put into text how this works, but after playing it for a few minutes you’ll soon pick up the tricks of the trade.

I’ll take this moment just to state that honestly, the fluidity and polish of Cosmic Shock League is pretty amazing. If this didn’t have any adult elements, I can see it being somewhat popular if it were a $5 Steam game or something. Similar to all Nutaku games, you unlock sex scenes and other X-rated goodies by upgrading girls and winning battles. The further you progress, the better the hentai sex becomes. You also unlock better girls as you progress that have powerful abilities and niche aspects to their kits. I’m actually really digging how they’ve developed this one – strategy gamers will have a whale of a time playing Cosmic Shock League.

Similar themes to other games

If you’ve ever played Candy Crush, chances are you’re going to have a bit of a head start over most people when it comes to Cosmic Shock League. The tile system is very similar – you even get power upgrades when you do combos that unlock powerful abilities and the like. In a way, the 4 girls that join your board are like the power-ups you get in Candy Crush, only you don’t have to pay for them! Instead, the girls and their special skills become active when you’ve filled up their bars enough. Filling the bars is done via feeding points into them by making combos related to the color of their portrait. Might sound confusing, but like I said earlier – playing this game makes it a hell of a lot easier to understand.

One pretty spiffy feature is that the chicks don’t just damage enemy bricks and that’s it – some buff up your own pack so that you can be very tactical with your decision making. At the start of the game it’s not too hard to win, but I imagine as you play this for a few weeks you’ll have to get pretty damn intelligent with how you utilize the powers made available to you. I think it’s fair to say that Nutaku have this theme across a lot of their titles: it’s not so hard to win, but you get a lot further if you’re smarter (and will be rewarded accordingly).

Great quality of life features

You can really tell that Nutaku put a decent amount of effort into Cosmic Shock League: you’ve got various decks that you can kit out and select on a whim, instead of having to chop and change before each new battle. You can also do PvP against others once you hit stage 10 in the standard quest line: this is great for people that really want to test their mental fortitude. It’s one thing to go up against a computer, but what about another human? As far as I know, Nutaku is the only adult game studio that actively promotes this type of multiplayer system – good on them for going one step ahead of the competition in this domain.

The freemium model explained

I do want to spend a few sentences going over the money aspect here. First: you can absolutely play this game for many hours on end without having to use your wallet. That said, there are a few good advantages if you do want to pay a little money. For just 100 tokens (which is around $1) you get three new girls and 5,000 coins – this is a 90% off introductory offer and since the game is totally free, it’s not like you’re really spending any money at all. You can also buy XP boosts, exclusive heroes, random cards and loot crates too: plenty of options no matter what type of goodies you like to get your hands on.

Some other considerations

Mr. Porn Geek does want to quickly mention that alongside all of the gaming fun available via Cosmic Shock League, there are actually dozens of high quality games on the Nutaku network. They’re completely free and honestly, I don’t know of a better website for this type of thing. Highly recommended that you check out their full suite of high quality games and pick one that’s right for you: I’ll never get bored of looking around and seeing what I can get my hands on here. They also regularly patch their games and release new content on a regular basis – everyone knows you can’t go wrong with Nutaku and their XXX video games!

I ended up playing Cosmic Shock League for about 2 hours before starting on this review: I feel like spending a good time on a game is a good idea, and I really feel that recommending this particular title isn’t a bad idea in the slightest. It’s a pretty chill title and the mixture of hentai every so often is fun. You won’t be jerking off for hours on end to the gameplay, though: it’s good, just not sexy! They reward you for playing well and the rewards come in the form of some anime sex clips to enjoy.

Being a negative Nancy

You should know by now that Mr. Porn Geek likes to balance reviews out: I’ve just spent the better part of 1,000 words telling you how good Cosmic Shock League is: but what about the downsides? Well have no fear, since I’m going to tell you the things I didn’t like about my time playing this game.

Firstly, the lag in Chrome really sucked – I have this problem with a lot of Nutaku games, and I’m sure it’s something that they don’t have complete control over, but yeah: I typically only use Opera for YouTube and a few other things, so I don’t like having it open when I prefer to use Chrome for work related stuff.

I’d also like to point out that in the browser version, you can’t enter full screen. This is a bit of a first world problem since the in-browser game takes up like 80% of the screen anyway, but a few other games on Nutaku have this feature, so why not Cosmic Shock League? It’s not a make or break issue, but yeah – I guess I have to think up one or two things so I don’t look like a game shill, right?

Let me wrap this up now

When push comes to shove, Cosmic Shock League is a fun game independently of the porn elements. Honestly, the free bonus hentai that you work for is just the icing on the cake: I’m not in the business of game reviews, but if I was, I’d tell my readers to go check this place out if they’ve got time to spare. Considering the fact that it’s completely free to try out and you can load it straight from your browser, I’m pretty happy to just tell ya’ll to click on my link and try the game for size. It’s fun, it’s easy to get into and yeah – I genuinely think the gameplay is better than 90% of the other titles I’ve got listed in my games list.

So what are you waiting for, buddy? Check out Cosmic Shock League today and see what’s what – you won’t be disappointed, and that’s a Mr. Porn Geek guarantee!

Review Pros
  • Great game design
  • Free to play
  • Browser based
Review Cons
  • No full screen
  • Laggy on Chrome