Alita Review



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Audio Review

Alita – Mr. Porn Geek plays

What’s going on folks? It’s Mr. Porn Geek here and today, I’m going to be playing a game by the name of Alita. I’ve spent a long time over the last few years researching and understanding what porn games are all about – that way, when I find new ones, I’m able to write high quality reviews on them so you can know whether or not they’re any good. Interested in learning about Alita in particular and what it has to bring to the table? Well the good news for you is that this page is devoted to exactly that! Continue reading and Mr. Porn Geek will take you on a high IQ review adventure. I can’t wait to get this show on the road, so let’s load this puppy up and talk shop!

My first thoughts on Alita

Okay, so for anyone who’s new to this game, I’m going to give you the low-down here – these buttons aren’t labeled and from what I can tell, Alita is very much still in the beta stages of being a game. This was a little bit of a shock to me and I’m hoping that by the time you read this, a new version of Alita will be released where you’re actually able to play it without it breaking on you. This game was actually recommended by a reader – I don’t know if he was trolling me or what, but I guess I’ll continue on with the review once I’m done ranting. See, Mr. Porn Geek has limited time to write reviews up on adult websites, so if the title doesn’t work then that’s going to make me very unhappy indeed. Alita’s got a massive issue when it comes to its buttons not rendering – I’ve got no idea what each and every option does! Rumor has it that this is just a bug, but I’m not so sure if the artwork for those clickable options actually exists. Just a note for people who want to make suggestions in future: please ensure that the game is actually finished and playable, otherwise I’m going to call you a retard and say that I’m not interested in anything you have to say. Right, now that this is out of the way, let’s get down to what the situation is like in Alita.

How the Alita game starts

When the game starts, all you have to do to get past the first white screen is hit the play button – I don’t know why it exists, but it’s annoying nonetheless. I suspect that the woman shown in the middle of the screen is Alita – she’s got blue hair, black eyes, a pale face, a thick hourglass figure and robotic looking arms: is this even a person or a sex toy from the future? You’re in a non-descript room with a bunch of black squares dotted around Alita – these are what you have to hit in order to progress through the various different options that you’ve got available to you. Since you’d likely struggle to understand what each one does, I’m going to try and work it out for your benefit. Let’s have a little look and try them out – I want to know how exactly this sex simulation game functions.

The buttons at Alita

I’m going to start in the top right-hand corner, with the usage of the leftmost button being my first port of call. This turns Alita into a titty fucking machine, where my big white cock was stuffed between her tits – strangely enough, she still kept her top on! Press it again and you’ll start to titty fuck Alita, with her facial expression changing slightly as you do so. A few more times and you’ll go full-force, before cycling back to the initial position of Alita standing there. The next button over (in the middle) seems to do something to her pussy – which becomes revealed – but I don’t actually know what it is! Do it for long enough and she’ll start to leak though, so I guess that’s pretty hot. The final button on the right-hand side just seems like a reset button, so if you ever make a mistake smash that shit to reset everything back to the default options.

Next up, Mr. Porn Geek is going to look at the left-hand buttons. The one in the top left is going to change the facial expression of Alita by the looks of things – basically, how her eyebrows react. I don’t think the option to the right of that one does anything, but below allows you to alter the openness of her eyes if you’re looking to fuck a minx who’s looking straight at you or is trying to hide herself from the fucking.

My dislikes about Alita

Okay, so I think it should come as no surprise that when it comes to putting Alita on blast, this porn game really needs to show us what the buttons do! The game just feels broken and in a complete development state at the moment, so you get lost and confused from the get go. As far as the sprite goes, Alita is pretty hot – it’s just a pity that you can’t get balls deep inside her in the fashion that you want. I’d also like to see other versions of the model with skin tones, outfits and that type of thing. Those are relatively easy to program in my experience.

My conclusion on Alita

So yeah – if I haven’t made it obvious from what I’ve said here, Mr. Porn Geek isn’t that much of a fan when it comes to the overall design and approach of Alita. I’ll be sure to keep an eye on this game in the future though, so if any new developments are made or if they update, I’ll be here to walk you through the new version. At the moment, I’d recommend alternatives – Alita just isn’t in the right spot for us to jerk off to it without a care in the world.

Review Pros
  • Instant action
  • Hot model
Review Cons
  • Not finished
  • Single babe choice